My uncle would visit us every couple of years and after knocking back a few drinks would proceed to tell us kids what exactly was wrong with the world.
"Don't get me wrong but what those poofs do to each other really disgusts me but look if they can keep their hands to themselves, stay celibate, you know then I have no problem with that," he took a sip from the beer that my mum had bought especially for his visit. As my dad had died a few years before there'd seemed no sense in keeping alcohol around the house anymore.
"There was this gentleman who lived in my town in Tassie back when I used to work at the mill. Now everyone knew he was a poof and while we might'n't have said it aloud, I mean he never pranced around or wore dresses but you could just tell in the way he would look at you. But you know he never did anything with any blokes at least not that I knew of; he just kinda kept to himself. You would see him drinking in the pub on a Friday night sometimes amongst a group from the mill but usually alone.
"Now I know that some of the guys from around the town roughed him up a few times but I had never had anything to do with it. As far as I am concerned if they keeping it in their pants I don't see anyone should have a problem with that but I suppose if he had been all la-de-da it would've made things worse for him."
But then it goes to show you can do the right thing by some people and still get fucked.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
the occult activities and manifestations survey and evidence for my demonic possession
A colleague at work today told me that word around the office was that I was insane. Although I am pretty sure she was joking, plagued with self-doubt I asked myself whether this could this be true. After an extensive search on the internet I made a most disturbing discovery on the world-wide-web that not only might I suffer from a mental illness I could also be POSSESSED! The Occult Activities and Manifestations Survey that was designed by Rex Rosenberg a conservative christian clinical psychologist and chief evaluator of sexual offenders at Larned State Hospital in Kansas offers a less earthly means of understanding and hopefully battling 'mental illness' or DEMONIC POSSESSION. His belief in what he terms demonically-mediated dissociation (DMD) caused some controversy amongst many of his (non-believer) colleagues and his attempt to gain any formal recognition of this side-project was turned down, his submission to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for DMD was rejected.
For all those who witnessed the final and rather confronting episode of the SBS comedy John Safran vs GOD that aired in late 2004, where Melburnian comedian Safran is exorcised by American Bob Larson of all the demons that had been accumulating throughout his show. At the beginning of the episode Safran was asked to fill out a rather in depth survey relating to his contact with the occult: a lengthy list indeed. The Rosenberg questionnaire, similar in its purpose to the Larson one is designed first to identify whether a patient is possessed (probably) and then next determine the exact nature of the creature inhabiting them.
And indeed what better way to do this is to have this patient sit down with a seven page survey (in the case of Rosenberg's questionnaire- sorry mother nature I printed it out) with a black biro in hand and circle where appropriate. How very civil. I am not sure Blatty would have approved. Now I am not trained as a psychologist or a pastoral counsellor so I am not sure how I’m supposed to interpret my results so if someone who is happens to be reading this please offer me your opinion.
I must confess I don't believe in God so I score pretty poorly on that front in the survey. When questions 20, 21 and 22 (to name a few) ask whether I feel hostility to, or rejection to Jesus of Nazareth or the Holy Spirit, the Bible or would describe myself as agnostic or atheist I was forced to circle yes. This generally extended to being unable to pray to God or Jesus and I must admit at times I have found it hard to read the Bible. Although I'd always thought it was because the book was not much of a page turner and not a sign of demonic infestation, nashing teeth and blasphemous profanities and the like. Then again I did have trouble sitting through Mel Gibson’s The Passion and I do wholeheartedly deny that this film was the word of God, inspired or otherwise. So maybe Rosenberg has a point there.
Next I admitted to experiencing puzzling phenomena in the environment (question 50) and that I could find myself in “Trances” throughout the day, unable move or speak but knew what was going on around me. Although these question were a tad vague I could see how they could apply to the modern cubicled office life I live. So I circled yes to a sense of extreme anxiety and admitted to feeling that my attention span would suddenly become impaired, followed by a sense of powerlessness akin to some external force affecting me or having power over me.
In question 61 I circled yes to smelling strong foul odours, finding this largely related to my earlier admission to hearing “growling” sounds inside the body which was no doubt connected to my later confession to my personal involvement with Hare Krishnas, namely eating at their vegetarian restaurant Crossways on Swanston Street in the city.
Then we turn to the topic of Homosexuality, a question that pops up several times in the questionnaire and finds itself amongst the promptings for vomiting or coughing of phlegm in response to prayer, eyes turning red or yellow when very angry (cool) and eating feces, and I suppose I am guilty as charged (to homosexuality that is). I thus admitted to having personal involvement in homosexual fornication (scribbling ‘although not enough of it’ on the margin of the page) and the use of pornographic books and movies (due to a lack of the former). I then proceeded to circle yes to seeing fairies and having contact with an ascended master. And while I am not sure exactly what an ascended master is and being something of innocent in ways of S&M, I circled it nonetheless because it sounded like it might be fun.
Finally I admitted to liking and listening to Heavy Metal music, finding that it makes a great workout soundtrack, and while it might be hard for myself to admit I did play dungeons & dragons with some friends over beers and pizza while I was doing my undergrad Arts degree. But it was only the once.
True I do not levitate or generally feel like I am possessed by a dead person. Nor do I have a irrational fear of annointing oil or had sex with a Succubus or an Incubus for that matter.
Nevertheless do you think I am possessed? I throw it out to the audience.
occult activities and manifestions survey
conflicting views about multiple personality disorder
For all those who witnessed the final and rather confronting episode of the SBS comedy John Safran vs GOD that aired in late 2004, where Melburnian comedian Safran is exorcised by American Bob Larson of all the demons that had been accumulating throughout his show. At the beginning of the episode Safran was asked to fill out a rather in depth survey relating to his contact with the occult: a lengthy list indeed. The Rosenberg questionnaire, similar in its purpose to the Larson one is designed first to identify whether a patient is possessed (probably) and then next determine the exact nature of the creature inhabiting them.
And indeed what better way to do this is to have this patient sit down with a seven page survey (in the case of Rosenberg's questionnaire- sorry mother nature I printed it out) with a black biro in hand and circle where appropriate. How very civil. I am not sure Blatty would have approved. Now I am not trained as a psychologist or a pastoral counsellor so I am not sure how I’m supposed to interpret my results so if someone who is happens to be reading this please offer me your opinion.
I must confess I don't believe in God so I score pretty poorly on that front in the survey. When questions 20, 21 and 22 (to name a few) ask whether I feel hostility to, or rejection to Jesus of Nazareth or the Holy Spirit, the Bible or would describe myself as agnostic or atheist I was forced to circle yes. This generally extended to being unable to pray to God or Jesus and I must admit at times I have found it hard to read the Bible. Although I'd always thought it was because the book was not much of a page turner and not a sign of demonic infestation, nashing teeth and blasphemous profanities and the like. Then again I did have trouble sitting through Mel Gibson’s The Passion and I do wholeheartedly deny that this film was the word of God, inspired or otherwise. So maybe Rosenberg has a point there.
Next I admitted to experiencing puzzling phenomena in the environment (question 50) and that I could find myself in “Trances” throughout the day, unable move or speak but knew what was going on around me. Although these question were a tad vague I could see how they could apply to the modern cubicled office life I live. So I circled yes to a sense of extreme anxiety and admitted to feeling that my attention span would suddenly become impaired, followed by a sense of powerlessness akin to some external force affecting me or having power over me.
In question 61 I circled yes to smelling strong foul odours, finding this largely related to my earlier admission to hearing “growling” sounds inside the body which was no doubt connected to my later confession to my personal involvement with Hare Krishnas, namely eating at their vegetarian restaurant Crossways on Swanston Street in the city.
Then we turn to the topic of Homosexuality, a question that pops up several times in the questionnaire and finds itself amongst the promptings for vomiting or coughing of phlegm in response to prayer, eyes turning red or yellow when very angry (cool) and eating feces, and I suppose I am guilty as charged (to homosexuality that is). I thus admitted to having personal involvement in homosexual fornication (scribbling ‘although not enough of it’ on the margin of the page) and the use of pornographic books and movies (due to a lack of the former). I then proceeded to circle yes to seeing fairies and having contact with an ascended master. And while I am not sure exactly what an ascended master is and being something of innocent in ways of S&M, I circled it nonetheless because it sounded like it might be fun.
Finally I admitted to liking and listening to Heavy Metal music, finding that it makes a great workout soundtrack, and while it might be hard for myself to admit I did play dungeons & dragons with some friends over beers and pizza while I was doing my undergrad Arts degree. But it was only the once.
True I do not levitate or generally feel like I am possessed by a dead person. Nor do I have a irrational fear of annointing oil or had sex with a Succubus or an Incubus for that matter.
Nevertheless do you think I am possessed? I throw it out to the audience.
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